...M here...

I have had a lot of people asking me how I have been doing, and my first response was "none of their business." I have been thinking a lot about it, recently, and have realized that it is, in fact, "their business." All of you who are holding us up in prayer, deserve to know.

The last few months have been a roller coaster of emotions. I have been trying to balance the same priorities as B, but have had to go to work, as well. You all know what I do, and the high level of stress I deal with on a daily basis. This has actually helped me. The adrenaline I get when in a hairy situation on the job, helps me burn off the stress in my personal life. That being said, I still have some "bad days" at work that can make it extremely difficult to take off my "work hat" and put on my "dad/husband hat" and vice versa. I have furthermore had to take on more OT to help pay the medical bills that never go away. The OT means working on my days off, which is hard on B. We are learning to make it work. Fortunately, we have great insurance and have almost paid off the yearly max deductible. After this month, insurance pays 100% of the rest of our bills.

I tend to be mostly optimistic about Emily's future and have made the decision to live each day, one day at a time. I think, I have finally learned the meaning of really taking it "one day at a time" and learning not to think too far ahead into the future. I can't physically change the future and am learning to just leave it alone. This is hard to do, as a man. We are planners. I have always tried to plan out the best course for myself and my family. In this struggle with Emily, I have learned that only God is in control of her/our future. I have tried not to learn too much about all that can go wrong with Emily, since there is no point in worrying about a future that God can change in a moments notice. I don't want to waste any emotional energy on it.

I choose to believe God will give us a little girl who will be healthy and able to run around on her two legs, chasing after her big sister. I fully expect her to wear little glasses and have to use an inhaler, and looking at the alternatives, I would rejoice to see this.

I am thankful for many things, right now. I have married an awesome woman. She has, and always will be my soulmate. She is an incredible wife, mother, and friend. I have two little girls, my daughters. We have a nice home, we have two cars that work great (did you know my Camry has 277,000 miles on it?! and is held together by prayer and TLC?). I have a great job that enables B to stay at home. I have great health insurance. I have an awesome family that is supporting us.

I serve a great God who is watching over us and using Emily as an example of his healing power!