I was at church tonight and I was reminded of a conversation God and I had early on in Emily’s life and since it is Christmas, I thought this was the best time to share it with all of you.
The day was one where we had been told again that they were skeptical that ‘our baby’ (they never called her by her name early on) would live, but that if she did, she would have x, y, and z major problems and her quality of life was not likely to be very good. I knew it. I had heard it before. It just seemed every time they told me, I would stare at her in disbelief and wonder how God was going to pull this one off (at that time, I was really, really hoping for the miraculous healing, in an instant, overnight…not the long patient healing He is still taking us through right now).
Anyway, on this day, we couldn’t touch Emily because she was too fragile and her heart would stop when we did. So, I just sat there, staring at her through her incubator and I had a strange thought about God watching Jesus from an incubator-like point of view. I wondered how God felt when Jesus was here on earth. He had all the power to change it but He had to choose not to. It was a strange thought but I let it pass.
As I continued to stare at her, I heard God ask me, “Would you give her up to save the baby next to her?” I looked at the baby and my heart was sad for that baby, but I said. “No”. So God asked, “Would you give her up to save all the babies in this room (8)?” Once again, I looked around and I saw the baby having seizures and the baby on dialysis (they would both later die) and my heart was sad, yet, as I started to tear up, I said, “No.” I had so much shame over my answer, yet I knew it was true. So He asked me once more, “Would you give her up for all the babies you can see (over 100)?” My heart got heavy and sad and I started to cry, “Are you really asking me that?” And then I heard Him say, “No. Just see. See how much I love you!”
In an instant, I understood. I, in my humanity, was looking at my sick, sick baby “without a future”, and was still not willing to give her up, even for a thousand babies. God, in His grace, gave up His ONLY son, to save us. He only had one. He made the CHOICE to give him up. He gained nothing from it. We gained everything from it. Not only did He give up His only son to die, but He allowed him to be tortured, humiliated and found guilty of wrongs he had never committed. He was handing Him over to a people not worthy of Him and He was doing it to save those same unworthy people from a fate they deserved...so they could live in a freedom they could not grasp and spend eternity with a God who loves them. And, He did all this KNOWING that many of those unworthy people would not accept the sacrifice He and his son made, that it would go to waste. Why? Because He knew YOU would accept it. He did it for you. Not for hundreds or thousands, for you.
Don’t let this gift stay under the tree, unopened. Grab it, use it, share it with the world. This Christmas, ask yourself if you would give up one of your children to save 10, 100, 1000 other kids? What would the number have to reach for you to sacrifice one of your children for others? If you are like me, selfish and kind of ashamed to admit it, I don’t know if there is a number large enough.
So what is my conclusion? Well, besides the fact that I still have a long way to go to be like God, I have decided that I have no choice but to lay prostrate on the floor and worship and honor the God who gave what I never could and never would give to save a people who didn’t and still don’t deserve it. I must praise God and thank Him, over and over again. If I am honest, I know that given the choice, I am incapable of that kind of sacrificial love. But God did it and He did it for you. Don’t get so caught up in presents and shopping that you forget that the only present that really matters...the one that came over 2000 years ago in a manger as an innocent baby named Jesus. This Christmas, remember who you are, remember who God is and what He did for us and share with someone the only present they will ever need.
God Bless and Good Night!
2 comments:
God be praised for His incredible mercy and grace in your lives. I am blessed when I read of the awesome privilege God has given you and Micah to be the parents of Emily and how He has put such a premium on molding and making both of you into the kind of man and woman who will make Jesus look great in the communities of which you are a part. He certainly has extended the 'real estate' that your lives touch and influence!
Amen to that above.
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