3 Weeks!!

Emily Grace has been in this world for three weeks now!! According to the drs, she is 28 weeks...they only count gestational age since she is not like a normal baby. She had a good night last night and is approaching two pounds at the speed of a slow moving turtle, but getting there none the less.

As you praise the Lord for this, let us remember what the Lord has already done (really, she wasn't supposed to make it through the first weekend), and although she is already defying the odds, we desire more. We are praying for complete recovery and no long term damage. All we want is for her to grow up with all the opportunities every other kid has...including the right to beat up on and play with her big sister. Our God is a God of miracles, I cling to the hope that what He has planned for her is greater than what my mind can think or imagine.

Since everyone wants to know how I am doing, here is the short of it. I am okay. Physically, I am still healing quite quickly. I have been off pain meds for several days because I found myself doing too much and needed to feel the pain to keep myself slowed down. Emotionally, I have good days with bad moments within them. It is getting harder again as my family leaves and there is more down time to think, but I am trusting the Lord that He will fill my time and thoughts with healthy information. I still have not gone online to read up on micro-premies or called my friends that could help me through this as I am not quite ready to talk it out (it would all be tears anyway at this point). We will start to see the counselor next week and then I will try to process more of this. For now, I don't think too much while I attempt to get my brain around what is going on (most likely a futile attempt, but I try anyway). And I journal while I pump to help the process.

Honestly, K is the main reason things are going well. She is here, she is happy, she has to be taken care of and life HAS to go on with her. There is no choice of self-pity when you have other children you are responsible to. She is a great blessing and with the stage she is at, it seems like new things happen every day. She is pushing tooth number three through as we speak.

Without the support from all of you, I am not sure where I would be right now. I know I do not respond to much but trust me, I read it ALL. Your words of encouragement keep me rolling and remind me that we are not alone in all this...that God is great and He is GOOD and bigger than all this and He has a great plan for my little girl. I think if I did not have someone reminding me of that every single day, I would go crazy...or at least wallow in self-pity. Please continue your prayers for us in this as the levels of understanding and reality hit us like bricks. Thank goodness for the break between the bricks!